The Smug Alert
Aaron wears glasses even though he has 20/20 vision.

Aaron wears glasses even though he has 20/20 vision.

The amount of clothes you “physically” own? As opposed to what, clothes you own mentally?  

The amount of clothes you “physically” own? As opposed to what, clothes you own mentally?  

SMUG ALERT: The Most Pretentious, Knowledgeable Person You Will Ever Meet
I love this guy’s, heavy usage, of, commas.  In any event, I’m pretty sure vocabularies can’t be knowledgeable.

SMUG ALERT: The Most Pretentious, Knowledgeable Person You Will Ever Meet

I love this guy’s, heavy usage, of, commas.  In any event, I’m pretty sure vocabularies can’t be knowledgeable.

SMUG ALERT: The Stench Of Smug In Trader Joe’s
If the parking lot at Trader Joe’s whiffs of suburban anarchy, then the inside of the store gives off the unmistakable odor of smugness — not the everyday, recognizable smug of folks who brought their own biodegradable shopping bags, but the ripe, putrid stench of smug that is normally reserved for wine drinkers and PTA members. If you’ve never had a conversation by the cheese island about how public school lunches “just won’t do for my little girl” and why over-privileged tots deserve goat cheese medallions, prickly pear juice and 27-grain artisan crackers, then the pleasure will truly be all yours.
And if you value your version of reality, try not to spend too much time chatting with other shoppers in the beauty and hygiene aisle. The smug alert is usually at higher levels surrounding those discussing the health benefits of using the 27-grain toilet paper.

SMUG ALERT: The Stench Of Smug In Trader Joe’s

If the parking lot at Trader Joe’s whiffs of suburban anarchy, then the inside of the store gives off the unmistakable odor of smugness — not the everyday, recognizable smug of folks who brought their own biodegradable shopping bags, but the ripe, putrid stench of smug that is normally reserved for wine drinkers and PTA members. If you’ve never had a conversation by the cheese island about how public school lunches “just won’t do for my little girl” and why over-privileged tots deserve goat cheese medallions, prickly pear juice and 27-grain artisan crackers, then the pleasure will truly be all yours.

And if you value your version of reality, try not to spend too much time chatting with other shoppers in the beauty and hygiene aisle. The smug alert is usually at higher levels surrounding those discussing the health benefits of using the 27-grain toilet paper.

The pinnacle of first world problems.

The pinnacle of first world problems.

Oh look, I found the most pretentious place on earth.

Oh look, I found the most pretentious place on earth.

Going green doesn’t make you any less of an asshole. And it definitely doesn’t give you the right to steal electricity.

Going green doesn’t make you any less of an asshole. And it definitely doesn’t give you the right to steal electricity.

SMUG ALERT: Female Neckbeard Teaches Her Daughter How To Be Smug
So, a mom posts a picture of a sign that she wrote, stating what is, assumedly, her own views, and passing it off as her young daughter’s opinion? Great way to show that she’s teaching her daughter to think for herself. Bonus points for praising her own parenting and the incredibly sanctimonious tone.

SMUG ALERT: Female Neckbeard Teaches Her Daughter How To Be Smug

So, a mom posts a picture of a sign that she wrote, stating what is, assumedly, her own views, and passing it off as her young daughter’s opinion? Great way to show that she’s teaching her daughter to think for herself. Bonus points for praising her own parenting and the incredibly sanctimonious tone.

At least he’s not in denial. #racecar #doyouevendriftbrah

At least he’s not in denial. #racecar #doyouevendriftbrah

No Organic Porridge Oats?! Oh the woes of the high society. :(

No Organic Porridge Oats?! Oh the woes of the high society. :(

Very smart or smart very? I say idiot very.

Very smart or smart very? I say idiot very.

That smug bastard means it, too.

That smug bastard means it, too.


"I SAVE LIVES. WHAT DO YOU DO?"

What do I do? I don’t put tacky bumper stickers on my car.

"I SAVE LIVES. WHAT DO YOU DO?"

What do I do? I don’t put tacky bumper stickers on my car.

SMUG ALERT: Ever See a Smug Parent Get Knocked Unconscious On Halloween?
Clip-art has been the silver lining to almost all of the terrible moments in my life. Indeed, nothing softens the “your kid is a fat fuck” blow quite like a festive jack-o-lantern.

SMUG ALERT: Ever See a Smug Parent Get Knocked Unconscious On Halloween?

Clip-art has been the silver lining to almost all of the terrible moments in my life. Indeed, nothing softens the “your kid is a fat fuck” blow quite like a festive jack-o-lantern.

SMUG ALERT: John Lennon’s “Imagine”
John Lennon giving us the divine wisdom that we should all just wish away bad people and evil in the world. Possibly the most saccharine, hyperbolic POS to masquerade as a hit song. Horrible. Imagine no possessions … I wonder if HE could.

SMUG ALERT: John Lennon’s “Imagine”

John Lennon giving us the divine wisdom that we should all just wish away bad people and evil in the world. Possibly the most saccharine, hyperbolic POS to masquerade as a hit song. Horrible. Imagine no possessions … I wonder if HE could.